I wonder who I am? What have I come to this world to do? What is my purpose? Does my name have any meaning to my purpose? Have I met the right people? How much more suffering do I have to go through before finding balance? Why is it always in my heart to understand everyone but very few do the same for me? Questions and Questions pile up, but the answer is somewhat missing. In this modern age where everyone is running, Do we have the time to sit and look at who we are? Are we truly satisfied with who we are? I am not afraid of who I am, just a bit insecure; I am scared about how the world will view me if I change? Well, I have changed, but I am struggling to accept who I am.

In the last few months, I have changed the kind of friends I have. Had a crush on a girl who I accepted I may never have a formal relationship with. That’s fine. Why? Because keeping everything aside, her smile is the most beautiful thing I have seen after the smile of children or babies. She has a light inside her that I pray and bless gets her unimaginable happiness and freedom in life. I have always seen the best in people because that is who I am. Surprisingly I have never been able to see the best in myself, though. Always my harshest critic after my parents. I love them to death; it took my father 3 days of relentless travel just to see me after I was born, they have sacrificed a lot for me, and I love them to the world’s end. That is who I am. I do everything conditionally except unconditionally loving those few parts of my life; my closest friends 2 people exist S and V you know who you are. They are a big reason I believe in the miracles life has to offer. Gratitude to everyone who has affected my life, whether positively or negatively. Thank you to my spiritual teachers, martial art teachers, my friends, loved ones, my parents and most of all, to this heart and soul of mine, which will take me places in life that one may only dream of.

This is the thing everyone I am having trouble accepting who I want to be. I am having trouble coming out of a cycle of mental pain I go through, which is generally self-inflicted. To the ones who are close to me on this journey, I am sorry I will take you for granted sometimes, but I will also stand by your side even when the world is against you; it’s unconditional. No expectations, No demands. I am dramatic and emotional, a very deadly combination, but if you ever open your heart to me, you will understand why that is everything for the right people. I will do whatever I can to build my life in the potential I know exists in me. Today I take the jump; I will disappoint many people by being rude or distant, or maybe not, I don’t know. Know this; however, I will never take your trust and belief in me and respect towards me for granted though. I am not chasing after relationships anymore; I will always have hope but no expectations. This is my story as of today. I am 20 years old today, in the final year of my BBA degree. I will revisit this in 5 years. If anyone who knows about this sees me, then, I hope you enjoyed the journey.

As Sharukh Khan once said in the Om Shanti Om Movie ” Picture Abhi baaki hain mere dost….”